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Monday, July 24, 2006

Frum Chat?

[IMG ] Not so long ago I made a post about chat and how people acted there. What a chillul hashem. Are these guys for real??? Now I admit, I've chatted with guys, and liked chatting with them too. It can get to a point where you have to say, OK, this has either gone too far, or you can continue. I find myself turning back and saying there are some things that I would rather not know about until the time is right. I mean, we have the Kallah lessons for a reason. Before I started blogging and chatting, I was hardly even curious, in all honesty about boys. Why would I be? But over the past year, my mind has opened up more than I can even imagine myself. OK. This post wasn't supposed to be about that. I'm home sick, with a pretty bad cold, and I got bored. Chatted for a few with friends, read blogs, made comments. Talked on the phone a little but since my ears hurt I didn't really feel like the phone. I wandered into jewish chat and I came across a guy who I had chatted with in the past, but since I don't keep archives I couldn't remember what he had said to me before. I'm going to post the conversation and just say....duh him: hey me: hi him: how was the chag me: nice b"h me: and by you? him: nice to him: any new guys me: new guys? him: freinds? me: maybe you're mistaking me for someone else. Sorry I dont have guys him: ok him: hows the money situation me: huh? me: meaning??? him: r u dating yet? me: Ill start when the summer finishes him: ull need to dress up a little me: I dont really dress up. him: wen u date u need to me: ok..so? nu? what's the point here? him: do u know of anygirls who would like to fool around me: ...........? me: where did THAT come from??? him: ifu find one ill pay u him: ok me: Why would I take money to make a girl do such a thing? him: jus for the shiduch me: but you're married. how can you call this a shidduch? him: so wat him: im sure u know some1 me: I know lots and lots of girls. And since you're from 13th ave, probably girls you see everyday. but not uh... him: but i cant ask em him: weras u can me: but to be honest....if I went to any girl and said hey, I know a guy whos married but looking for some fun with a frum girl, they're gonna look at me like I've gone meshiga. him: yes but in a coversation it could come out him: like guys make me hot me: you think girls just sit around and talk about guys making us hot? him: and u say i have a freind...................\ him: sometimes im sure him: uve had such conversations me: lol you really don't know girls at all him: ok him: never' him: do they talk me: a girl might say, so and so is cute, but we sure never sit around and talk about so and so is so hot I wonder what him and his wife do...my gosh me: I feel bad for your wife him: can i see u on cam me: I don't have a cam him: y do u feel bad for my wife me: Because she deserves a man to be faithful to her like she is to you. him: i havent done anythong me: so looking for young girls online to "fool around with" is nothing? me: Since it's taking you forever to answer, I guess you have nothing to say. So, he didn't answer me again, but FECHHHHHHHHHHH. This time the only thing I edited from this conversation was the names. Everything else is as is.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Door eases observance of Shabbos practice

Lakewood medical center unpowers an entryway on Saturdays, holy days
Posted by the Asbury Park Press on 06/23/06
BY RICHARD QUINN
TOMS RIVER BUREAU

LAKEWOOD — When is a door not a door?
When it's an unwitting symbol of the cultural division that dogs Lakewood's
community blend.

And a nondescript Shabbos door off to the side of Kimball Medical Center's
main lobby is just that to those who view it as preferential treatment to
the township's large Orthodox Jewish population.

In reality, though, the door is just a door, a hospital entrance near
Prospect Street that isn't powered by electricity for less than 10 hours a
week.

The door requires a security card for entry most of the week, but power to
the entryway is turned off during normal visiting hours on Saturdays — and
during Jewish holy days — to allow the sizable Orthodox community to enter
during the Sabbath, also known as Shabbos.

Observant Jews cannot use automated doors because Judaic law bans the use of
electricity — except for emergencies — during the holy time from sundown
Friday to after sundown Saturday.

Activating an automatic door would cause an observant Jew to break the
Sabbath, but simply opening a door by hand is acceptable.

Before the Shabbos door — which hospital officials say first appeared about
nine years ago — men in black suits and yarmulkes often could be found
waiting by Kimball Medical Center's automated front entrance for someone
else to open the door. Kimball Medical Center's manual door eliminates the
wait.

"It's meeting the needs of our patients," said James PeQueen, vice president
of patient satisfaction at Kimball Medical Center. "It just happens to be a
special need."

PeQueen's comments — the first public statement a hospital administrator has
made about the door — were made to explain what often is termed a
capitulation to the Orthodox community, the largest ethnic group in
Lakewood.

PeQueen disagreed and couched the door as another example of Kimball Medical
Center — and the Saint Barnabas Health Care System the hospital is an
affiliate of — working with its constituent communities.

That includes a similar Shabbos door at Monmouth Medical Center in Long
Branch, bilingual staff to work with Lakewood's ever-growing Hispanic
population and a mobile phlebotomist service that visits a dozen adult
communities in Ocean County on a regular basis, PeQueen said.

But Spanish-speaking secretaries and a mobile service to draw blood from
retirees has never stirred passions like the Kimball Medical Center door.

"(Orthodox Jews) have separate entrances to the enter the hospital," read
one line in an opinion piece penned by a minister last fall.

The piece resonated with those in Lakewood who privately and publicly
believe the Orthodox community receives preferential treatment over the
black and Hispanic communities.

To hospital officials, that inference is plain wrong. PeQueen said the door
is a service to the hospital's patient pool, nothing more.

To Steven Langert, an Orthodox community member, concerns over the door are
nonsensical.

He said the door simply allows Orthodox people to walk into the hospital on
a Saturday without violating their faith.

The door also is next to a stairwell — the rule against using electricity
applies to elevators, too — which allows easy access to the hospital's six
floors.

"People don't understand," said Langert, who has used the door to visit
people in the hospital on a Saturday. "Everything boils down to education."

Langert believes if people who complain about the door see it, they would
say "Hey, it's just a door. It's no big deal."

Menashe Miller, a hospital chaplain, said the door is not preferential
treatment.

"This is a wonderful gesture on the hospital's part in showing sensitivity
to the patients of the community," said Miller, who also is a township
committeeman.

"The rumors that go about town are absolutely false. As the chaplain of the
hospital, this is just a service to the community."

And a grateful one, at that.

"We may not fly big banners" in gratitude, said Sam Unger, an Orthodox Jew
who has lived in Lakewood for about 20 years, but "definitely, we appreciate
it."


Richard Quinn: (732) 557-5739 or rquinn@app.com


Copyright © 2006 Asbury Park Press. All rights reserved.

Monday, July 10, 2006

MEET THE NEW 'JEWISH LAW'

July 10, 2006 --

The NYPD has recruited an unorthodox new officer - its first Hasidic cop.

Joel Witriol, a 24-year-old Talmud scholar from Brooklyn, starts his training at the department's Police Academy today. "I realized there were so many things you could do [as a cop] - everything from community service to fighting narcotics," Witriol said, coming off the heels of a stint with the department's auxiliary police force. "There are a hundred things, and every day is different."

Witriol has a degree from United Talmudical Seminary in Monroe, where he studied "religious stuff, mostly."

He's also held part-time jobs doing everything from driving a delivery truck to working for a furniture company.

But the Brooklyn native wanted something more - and believes he found it five years ago when, while volunteering for an ambulance company, he heard about the police auxiliary. "I decided to go and check it out," Witriol said. "I went for training and passed."

Growing up in Williamsburg, Witriol admitted that he had the same cops-and-robbers ideas about policing as many youngsters. "I thought it was only about arresting people," he said.

But his auxiliary work in the 77th Precinct in Crown Heights - home to a large Hasidic community - was an eye-opener for him.

Auxiliary officers, who do not carry weapons, are "eyes and ears" for the department, Witriol said. "They do patrolling, they go to parades.

"I saw a lot of things that were going on in the precinct," he said.

The police officers "are not only locking up people, but they are helping people, too. I figured it's a good future."

Before he signed on with the department, Witriol asked for some advice from his father, a bus driver.

He said, "If you do it, just do the right thing," Witriol recalled.

Because of his religion, Witriol will need exemptions from police hairstyle rules so he can keep his beard and his peyoses, the long side locks worn by Hasidic men.

He'll also have to be excused from working on the Sabbath and on Jewish holidays.

Witriol said the Police Department doesn't have any problem with his needs, so long as they're backed up with a letter from a rabbi.

Department sources note that the NYPD has granted a number of religious exemptions to its rules in recent years.

When Witriol graduates from the academy, it is believed that he will be only the third Hasidic officer in the United States.

The other two officers include an Hasidic man hired a decade ago by the sheriff's department in Rockland County.

And Witriol says his older brother was an officer in Newark before becoming one of that department's chaplains.

Though his religion sets him apart, Witriol is eager to fit in with his fellow officers. "I want to be a cop," he said, "together with everyone."

He added that he knows that he can be "absolutely helpful with the community."

bill.sanderson@nypost.com

Friday, July 07, 2006

Orthodox Judaism Growing Among Young American Jews

By Hana Levi Julian

A study released by the American Jewish Committee shows that Orthodox Judaism is growing in popularity among under-30 Jews in the U.S.
The study, carried out in honor of the New York-based advocacy groups 100th anniversary, measured Jewish identification trends in the American Jewish population from ages 18 to 39, a group which numbers some 1.5 million Jews. The total Jewish population in the U.S., according to the study, is estimated to be between 5.5 and 6 million, including Jews who are intermarried.

Some 16% of Jews aged 18-29 now identify themselves as Orthodox, the study revealed. In the 30-39 age group, slightly more than half of that number, 9%, consider themselves Orthodox.

According to the report, the percentage of Orthodox Jews is expected to grow as the population marries and has children, especially in light of the fact that Orthodox Jews place a higher emphasis on having children than do other Jews.

The report also found that more than half of all American Jews under age 40 are not married. Men in their 20s are highly likely to be unmarried." In general, the overall trend among young Jewish adults is to marry later in life.

The role played by the State of Israel is also much less important to young Jews today, found the report. The Holocaust continues to be profoundly important to a broad spectrum of young Jews, it read, yet Israel appears to be much less important in positively affecting Jewish identity.

The exception to the rule is the group of Jews who have either traveled to Israel or who identify themselves as Orthodox, both for whom Israel has powerful positive resonance, it stated.

The report also addressed the climbing statistics of intermarriage and assimilation in the U.S., recommending that outreach programs targeting intermarried Jews be expanded and increased.

The [outreach] programs which focus on unaffiliated young Jews are much less politically charged than programs which focus on the intermarried and in many ways show a greater willingness to welcome the intermarried without stigmatizing them, read the report. These programs need to be continued and, if current demographic trends continue, need to be expanded.

The study used previous demographic studies and opinion polls conducted in the past six years as primary sources for data collection. Ukeles Associates Inc. compiled the report for the committee.

(Source: Arutz Sheva online. Israelnn.com)

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Future of the Internet for Orthodox Jews

This is an article which all Orthodox magazine or newspapers refused to publish. Your comments on why will be welcome, as well as your input on what we can do.


Call For Action

An Approach to the Internet and its Containment

By C. Aronowitz



In an area which has been rhetorically compared to a life and death issue, and which prominent rabbonim have spoken out on, it is important to inform you, the reader of the writers ‘bona fides’ before entering the body of this discussion.

This article is written under a nom de plume. The writer spent several years of his early work career working for Agudath Israel, intimately involved in carrying out the directives of the Gedolim on a daily basis. He takes pride in this, and of various initiatives he was directed to do at that time under the cover of confidentiality.
Switching to a personal perspective, I feel that if I am 'zoche' to a reward in the hereafter, certain of these projects will be the 'zchus'.
I am prefacing this article with this biographical note to emphasize that my intention here is to accomplish the goals of the gedolim.

I. The Threat
The Internet was invented in the 1970’s. But it was not until the advent of the World Wide Web, and its easy-to-use graphical and communication possibilities that a threat to Yiddishkeit became prevalent. A development which had the potential (and reality), of benefiting Orthodox Jews by providing new editing opportunities for the data entering our brains (ex: not needing an entire newspaper or library to gather a necessary item of information) was to significant extent subverted from its original purpose.
Suddenly, one no longer needed to go to a newsstand or a different part of town and face potential embarrassment in order to see something inappropriate or communicate with someone one would never be seen with in public.
There is no question that the prevalence and accessability of the Internet has caused grave, grave korbonos. And the situation grows more serious all the time, as commerce, communication and information become more dependent on the Internet. Many kolel yungerleit and yerei shomayim depend on the internet for parnosa, either themselves or through their wives.

While filtered ISP’s (Internet Service Providers) under both Orthodox and non- Jewish auspices do exist, they are used by an appallingly small percentage of Orthodox Jews. Sometimes this is due to an employee working for a non-Jewish employer. Other times is it is due to ignorance, laziness, or an exaggerated sense of ‘convenience’ or minor financial savings which blinds a frumer yid to the threat posed by immodesty and immoral solicitation(s) on the opening pages of many popular service providers.
It is worth noting that the businesses who provide filtered access for Orthodox Jews have invested millions of dollars in being mezake our community and deserve our support and gratitude.
However serious the threat is now, it will become more so in the near future. Wireless advances, primarily the ‘Wi-Fi’ wireless broadband connection, which enables a high speed internet connection in any covered area through radio waves will increase both the availability and necessity for Internet in the near future.
This writer has made a few interesting observations during the past summer:
* The gas station serving the most kosher products en route to the mountains now advertises a free wi-fi connection and an in-store internet connection as an additional reason to patronize them.
*While Starbucks cafes have had wi-fi connections for quite some time, a kosher restaurant in the mountains now offers a free wi-fi connection.
* There is now a wi-fi connection in Bryant Park in Manhattan, several blocks from the diamond district.
* Both Yerushalayim and Philadelphia (PA) are installing new, (initially) free municipal wi-fi systems throughout their respective cities.
* A 13th Avenue glatt restaurant is advertising wi-fi.
* Verizon is rolling out a new wireless high speed internet access system which will not have the distance limitations of wi-fi
* Finally, pundits are already predicting the day when the subway, and other mass transit will have wi-fi. This has already been implemented on a trial basis in the western US and Canada.


I recently had a conversation on the Internet with two fellow 'mispalelim' in the Bais Medrash I belong to. I said to one: “ Our response to this issue (internet) will determine whether we will accept technology, or reject it like the Amish.” The other said “I’m Amish”.
While this approach is worthy of respect, it has never been the mainstream approach of normative Judaism. But if you happen to be with the Amish, this article isn’t for you.

II. The Need
Most of us in the business world, and increasingly those in chinuch, are becoming dependent on web based communication, research, and commerce. There are excellent reasons for this. The internet, e-mail, and e-messaging are fast, frequently almost real-time, efficient, reliable, accurate and easy.
Business people and professionals have told me told me the first two hours of their day is dedicated to answering e-mail. If this could be done on their commute rather than in the office, the work day would be shorter and more efficient, yielding additional time from our pressured and stressed schedules for our families and Torah.
Two vignettes: A shomer shabbos accounting firm in Jerusalem which employs a number of kolel wives now requires that all employees have a broad band connection at home as part of their flex-time policy which effectively makes it possible for kolel wives to keep their jobs.
A kolel yunger man who learns two sedarim a day with hasmoda manages a small investment fund at night. He is only able to do this, and remain in kolel with his family obligations, due to a broad band connection, the 24 hour trading day created by the Internet, and the fact that no one he deals with sees his Jewish attire and appearance, which is not very “Wall Street”.
These two individuals are Americans residing in Israel to live a life of Torah. Yet in Israel, there is no Hareidi filtered service at all! Why? (Interestingly, China and Saudi Arabia have national filters. Are they more concerned with the moral standing of their citizenry?)
In America, while we B”H have filtered ISP’s, there no strong filtering or reporting system adaptable to applied to public wireless broadband (Wi Fi) or cable connections.
Can we afford this lack? And, conversely can we afford to prohibit the Internet? And finally, can we afford to both asur (prohibit) it on the posters on our shuls and ads in our periodicals, and permit it in actuality?
How are our children to digest this dissonant message? Is it not reminiscent of the old American Jewish retort of “I keep kosher at home” (but can’t outside)? We all know where that led.
I asked a distinguished and over burdened Rov and Talmid Chacham of my acquaintance, leader and advisor to a major community, how he does the research he needs in fertility and other drug and medical areas. He answered, “I need the internet, so I ask my sister who has it. (his sister lives in a somewhat more ‘liberal’ Orthodox community).” The Rav then continued: “ I would really like to be able to do the research and see the results myself. I like to understand what I’m dealing with. However, I can’t. 'S’ iz shver to sein a yid'. My sister keeps telling me I need Internet.”
As an aside, many respected chareidi mosdos who osir internet find it necessary to have broadband internet connections, and it amazes me how few have filtered systems.
On the way upstate, I stopped to daven in the main Satmar Bais Medrash in Monroe. There was a sign up in the Bais Medrash asking for signatures to persuade a local telephone or cable firm to let in J-Net, a filtered provider, due to the many internet users who need it for parnosa.

III. Solutions

I submit that the internet is not television. It is not 90% entertainment, and it is not leaving our community. Even an 83 year old almona I know uses the internet for purchases and as her primary means of communicating with her children and grand children in New York, the Midwest, and in Yeshivas and Kolelim in Israel!

I propose that our community has been remiss in not addressing the threat head-on. And I further suggest that broad brush prohibitive language (with the exception of limited cases such as children in mosdos where the Rosh Yeshiva or Rebbe will be making the decisions), will not work, and will make us look like hypocrites in the eyes of our children. Like most serious problems, (or like sheitlach and copepods) we need a combination of a chinuch and a technical solution.
Chinuch Solution
I am not professional 'mechanech' (though every parent with a large family ka”h is a mechanech), and I do not want to wax verbose in the arena of the professional mechanchim.
What I do feel it is important to emphasize is that the most outstanding success of our community in the post war years is chinuch and our mosdos, and I am sure if the challenge of dealing with the internet reality were met forthrightly, we would see the same level of success we have seen in yidishe levush, in osuring many once acceptable forms of entertainment, in tznius in clothing and behavior (for both boys and girls), and in shmiras haeneyim. However, ignoring reality will not make it disappear.

Technical Solutions
The necessary technical solutions are themselves a combination.
Filtering
I have mentioned filtering several times in this article. I’m well aware of what every computer professional will tell us, that no filter is perfect. This is absolutely true.
I discussed this topic with the mashgiach of a prominent chassidishe yeshiva gedola, an individual who talmidim ask for advice well into their married years. He replied by asking whether filtering is 100% effective. I responded that it is only 90-95% effective and a determined effort can often create a breach. He said “that’s a problem”. I responded : “Reb ____, if you could clean up the 'gass' (street) by even 90% in the summer, would that be a good thing for yiddishkeit? Would you move to do that, and feel it would benefit all Jews, even if 10% slipped through?” The mashgiach agreed that it would be a truly wonderful accomplishment if 90% of the summer tznius issues disappeared from the street. I then asked him “would cleaning the Internet not be an equally important accomplishment?”, and he agreed. We all make cost/benefit analyses in life. No responsible authority recommends home schooling or solitary tefila to prevent seeing immodesty on the street. We must do our utmost to inculcate internal filters after making every reasonable step to avoid temptation. This is no different.
The first reasonable attempt is filtering. But ISP’s run like businesses cannot afford to run after every new debauched web site ( new ones appear daily), and new communication technique that appears. Filtering is a necessity, and the filter must be effective. It is our first line of defense, because we all know that the yetzer hora which is never initiated will never grow.

Reporting
But in essence, I do agree with the mashgiach. We dare not be satisfied with even 95%. Yiddishe neshomos are more precious than that.
We all know that the best preventative to sin is diuknesa d’uviv (Yosef Hatzadik’s escape from enticement with the appearance of his father’s image in his mind’s eye) and ayin roeh (the knowledge that one is being watched).
Regardless of every community’s respective stance on Internet use, a non-judgmental option should be offered. An electronic reporting system should be set up reporting web sites visited by each user and perhaps e-mail addresses for a spot check review by a reliable and close mouthed individual or committee chosen by of the respective Rav of each community. If something inappropriate is found, the Rav can then decide how to approach the issue in a dignified manner. Hopefully the fact that a foolproof reporting system is in place will help to ensure it is never used.
This is no different than hesitating to do something that could be embarrassing on the street because someone might be watching. Peer pressure is used as a deterrent, and rightly so. Privacy issues? Firstly the appointees must be above suspicion, like our rabbonim who are trusted with so many confidential issues. Secondly, we are only proposing spot checking as an adjunct to filtering. Both filtering and surveillance should be insisted upon as conditions of use by every community. The perception of a user of unfiltered, unsurveilled internet should be like the perception of someone sporting a television in the dining room or frequenting a pool without a mechitza.
Of course, ironclad confidentiality must be maintained due to both business and personal considerations. But the facts are, rightly or otherwise, many of us act differently when being watched by the Rav or Rebbe.
Finally, a filters which could actually disable the machine if inappropriate searches are made or sites visited. The password would be available at your local Rav’s.

IV. A Plea for Help
Truthfully, I had hoped that our brethren in the Modern Orthodox community had taken the lead in addressing these issues. The Internet threat is equally or more ubiquitous there, broadband connections are common, and the technical expertise is prevalent. It is self deluding to feel the yetzer hora only affects others, but not the Modern Orthodox community. Moreover, developing acceptable approaches would be an excellent validation of the Modern Orthodox philosophy of accepting the worthwhile while rejecting the worthless in contemporary society.
But since (to my knowledge) it has not been addressed there, we ‘chareidim’ must provide our own life preservers. This is a case of b’mokom sh’ain ish ( where no one is available to do the right thing we all are required to do so). And, G-d willing, we will meet our obligations.

Wireless Solutions
This article began with warnings about the spread of wireless internet and the implication that we have no solutions for an ISP intended for the general community.
What is needed is a program which is computer based but impossible for the user to remove for both filtering and reporting purposes. The basic technology already exists. If such a program were installed on each machine owned by an Orthodox Jew, this would be a big step forward.
At the same time, for those using a non-Jewish employer’s computer, or one in a hotel or a business (gas station?) a web based proxy server option should also be made available. While this by its nature could be circumvented, it would at least provide a kosher option for travelers and workers.
I am sure that IT professionals could better and enhance these ideas, or come up with better ones.
However . . . this will never be a money maker. In my opinion, it is a communal obligation.
Mesorah Publications felt the obligation to produce a Talmud, but knew that it could not cover itself financially in the initial stages. They therefore established the Mesorah Heritage Foundation to fund the significant expenses needed to launch this ambitious undertaking. The benefits to Torah Yiddishkeit are extraordinary!
Several years ago, a group of activists raised money and pressured several airlines flying to Israel to establish ‘Mehadrin’ seating areas with no movies. Here, too there were laudable successes.
The Orthodox community needs a foundation dedicated to pioneering effective, sophisticated and solid solutions to our unique Internet needs. It is a spiritual undertaking to be achieved through technical means. We have the expertise in our community. We need the understanding and will. The alternatives are unacceptable.
Furthermore, we must be ahead of the curve. Until now we have been reacting to developments after the korbonos occurred. This foundations’ technical brain trust would be charged with developing solutions before the korbonos. Instead of dealing with Wi-Fi, and whatever comes after Wi-Fi, after it is installed on MTA, we must have a prepared solution beforehand.
For thousands of years the Jewish people have overcome the challenge of new technical developments. Why now settle for even one neshama lost if we can save it?
And if some of us feel unthreatened by this new development, I would propose that they view it as an insurance policy for their children and grandchildren.
Let us hope that in the coming year we as community can determine to prevent even one more individual lost or weakened in their spiritual resolve as a result of technological developments.

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