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Saturday, March 11, 2006

Orthodox Grapple With Substance Abuse



Chanan Tigay
JTA Wire Service

MARCH 10, 2006
Baltimore, MD

Peter Gould had his last drink on Purim night, seven years ago -- or, more
accurately, his last drinks.

"I drank more alcohol in a day than a human body can handle," he says,
relaxing on a puffy couch in Baltimore wearing jeans, sneakers and a black
knit kipah.

At the time, Gould -- not his real name -- had been a functioning alcoholic
for years, and his body could tolerate a lot of booze. He lists the
staggering litany of alcoholic beverages he consumed that Purim, a holiday
some Jews mark by drinking to excess:

* three bottles of amaretto;

* two bottles of wine;

* one bottle of champagne;

* a fifth of scotch;

* a fifth of bourbon.

"And then I drove home with my kids in the car," he recalls. He made it home
fine -- after all, he was used to driving drunk.

Gould may be an extreme example, but he isn't unique.

Alcohol and drug addiction exist in every sector of American Jewry, but
addiction and recovery specialists say Gould is part of a growing problem in
the Orthodox community -- a problem that, because of the pressures and
particularities of an observant Jewish lifestyle, has hit the Orthodox
community in different and sometimes more troubling ways than other segments
of the Jewish community.

"The Orthodox community really does have a need," said Adrienne Bannon,
executive director of Baltimore's Jewish Recovery Houses, two centers in
suburban Baltimore that house recovering Jewish drug addicts and alcoholics.
Some residents require kosher food and are placed with local families for
Shabbat meals.

"I thought most of the addicts and alcoholics filling this house would be
long-estranged from religion, but it isn't true," she says. "So my mind is
opened."

Part of the problem, experts say, is that for years people couldn't and
wouldn't believe that drugs had found their way into Orthodox groups. But
they had.

Experts say the emphasis in some fervently religious Orthodox communities on
finding marriage matches for young people, coupled with the community's
traditional reluctance to air its dirty laundry, leads families and schools
to cover up addictions. They call this "the shanda factor": Who wants to
marry a drug addict, or even a drug addict's sibling?

As a result, addicts often don't receive treatment until their addictions
have reached crisis proportions. Those involved in treating these addicts
say that, until recently, members of the Orthodox community received
treatment on average two years later than addicts in society at large -- two
years during which their dependencies have time to grow, worsen and become
harder to beat.

Solid numbers on addiction in the Orthodox community are hard to come by. In
the past five to 10 years the community has begun to more aggressively and
publicly address the issue, but it still elicits silence and shame.
Anecdotal evidence suggests the problem is getting worse, experts say.

"Dirty" hit rock bottom in July.

The 23-year-old, former yeshiva day-school student had been thrown in jail
for the second time in a month and was sharing a cell with a man accused of
killing three people.

Dirty -- he got the nickname in prison -- says he was the only Caucasian at
the time in Baltimore's notoriously rough Central Booking and Intake
Facility and City Detention Center, and he was beaten daily by the other
inmates. On one particularly gruesome day he was raped in the prison shower.

He also spent a good portion of his 29 days in the lock-up in withdrawal --
cold turkey -- from his $400-a- day heroin habit. He endured the beatings
and abuse while reeling from the physical pain of detoxification -- the
shakes, hot and cold flashes and unending diarrhea.

Central Booking was a long way from the modern Orthodox home in suburban
Baltimore where he was raised. And yet, as resident after resident at
Baltimore's recovery homes attests, Dirty -- who is a resident in the men's
home and has been clean for more than seven months -- isn't an unusual case.

Lou Jacobs, executive director of the Jewish Big Brothers Big Sisters League
in Baltimore, which runs the city's Jewish Addiction Services, says he
believes nearly half the case load comes from the Orthodox community. That's
a "dramatic change" from just five years ago, he says, when Orthodox clients
comprised 10 percent to 15 percent of his clientele.

"To the extent that their willingness to come here for help is an indication
of a crisis, I would say there certainly is a sense that this is a problem
that has gotten beyond one that can be dealt with quietly within the
Orthodox community with its own resources," Jacobs says.

Some describe a chicken-and-egg question: Is the number of Orthodox addicts
growing, or -- because community efforts have made treatment easier, more
available or more acceptable -- are a greater number of addicts seeking
help?

Experts say both might be true.

"What has opened people's eyes is that, first of all, there's been much more
talk about the problem," says Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, founder and medical
director emeritus of Gateway Rehabilitation Center, a nonprofit drug and
alcohol treatment system in western Pennsylvania. "Unfortunately there have
been several young deaths from overdoses, and these were not covered up and
they raised the alert of the community."

Rabbi Kerry Olitzky, an expert in chemical addiction in the Jewish community
and author of "Twelve Jewish Steps to Recovery: A Personal Guide to Turning
from Alcoholism and Other Addictions," notes that the Orthodox aren't the
only members of the Jewish community with addiction issues.

"Alcohol and drug abuse is about an issue of individuals feeling an
emptiness inside of themselves and they're self-medicating, trying to fill
that hole and get rid of the pain they feel," says Olitzky, who also is
executive director of the Jewish Outreach Institute. "Alcohol and drug
abuse, for similar reasons, impact upon members of the Jewish community from
one side of the spectrum to the other."

Recovery communities for Jews like those in Baltimore are few and far
between, but many communities are making efforts to fight abuse by forming
support groups, Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous societies,
treatment centers and clearing houses for referral services. The religious
streams also have made efforts to address the issue and inform their
constituents about it.

The number of Jewish addicts is proportionally similar to the rest of
America, Olitzky says, but Jews are overrepresented in Gamblers Anonymous,
and many suffer from eating disorders

Insiders say the Orthodox lifestyle offers another gateway into and cover
for addiction: the frequent availability and consumption of alcohol at
religious life-cycle events. Habits developed at these celebrations can
eventually lead to alcoholism, observers say, and statistics show that
individuals who abuse alcohol are more likely to use drugs.

A person can drink a l'chaim at a morning bris, or ritual circumcision
ceremony, followed by another at an engagement party that evening. Later in
the week there may be a wedding, followed by a sheva brachot ceremony
followed on Shabbat by a Bar Mitzvah -- and alcohol often is available at
each event.

Then there is the increasing popularity of so-called synagogue Kiddush
Clubs, which offer shul-goers schnapps, whiskey and other types of alcohol
during and after services.

"Substance abuse is masked by religious practice," says Rabbi Joel
Dinnerstein, founder and director of Ohr Ki Tov: Center for Growth and
Transformation, which runs Florida's Jewish Alcoholism and Addiction
Counseling Services. "See who goes for the herring and who goes for the
schnapps -- you don't have to be an expert to see right in front of you."

Gould went for the schnapps. And the whiskey. And the beer. And the
champagne.

He spent his Bar Mitzvah party vomiting in a bathroom after drinking too
much alcohol-spiked punch. By the time he was 31, Gould's doctor told him
that his liver "was reaching irreversible damage levels."

The physician suggested that the test results may have been skewed by
consumption of alcohol shortly before the test. He suggested that Gould not
drink for two weeks and then return for another test.

So he stopped drinking for a few days -- until his brother-in-law got
engaged and they headed out for a l'chaim; the cycle began again.

Veronica Rose, whose parents are affiliated with a Chabad synagogue, said
that an abusive boyfriend drove her to drug abuse.

Rose, a pseudonym, started using cocaine five years ago in what she says was
an effort to self-medicate her clinical depression. What started as
recreational use soon became a full-blown addiction.

"I spent all of my bubbe's inheritance on drugs," says Rose, whose brother
is an alcoholic.

When she took up with an abusive man, she turned even more frequently to
drugs -- cocaine to dull the pain, followed by marijuana or atavan to come
down from the high.

She began to think about cleaning up. Today she's a resident at Tovah House,
the women's recovery home in Baltimore. She has been clean since Dec. 12.

Observers say it has become increasingly easy for kids to obtain drugs, even
Orthodox kids.

"The problem in the yeshivas is the same problem as in the public schools,"
says Daniel Vitow, headmaster of the North Shore Hebrew Academy High School
on New York's Long Island. "Our kids live in the same society and the same
culture as everyone else."

Where the problem is more acute, some schools have instituted drug testing
for students.

Some yeshivas eventually expel problem students, who are sent from school to
school to school, their problems left untreated, chalked up simply to
hanging out with the wrong group of friends.

Vitow says the North Shore Hebrew Academy High School, which he says has no
serious problem, offers information on drugs in health education classes,
along with guest speakers and outside agencies that train students to talk
intelligently about drugs with their colleagues in peer mentor groups.

"I think that the Jewish community has grown a great deal in its
sophistication with regard to its acknowledgment of Jews and alcoholism and
Jews as drug addicts, and there are some institutions that have been built,"
Olitzky says.

But, he notes, "We still have a long way to go before we are fully prepared
to wrestle with the challenges.''

This story reprinted courtesy of the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

I Love Torah

Welcome to Moshe and Rochel's about us page!

With the belief that every Jewish person can make a difference, we took on the project of spreading Torah to the world. One webpage led to two webpages, three pages to four. Now we can't even count our Torah webpages online as there are well over fifthteen!

Rochel and I met over about 3 years ago via my Shadchan and friend Mrs. Bitman. It was difficult finding my perfect match and I went from matchmaker to matchmaker only to come up empty until finally the moment came. While waiting for her, I figured, why not help everyone else find their basheret so I created A FRUM SHIDDUCH DATABASE! (now replaced by www.frumdate.com ) We have had already over 30 marriages (could be close to 70 now) and two babies:) This wasn't my first website though, the first one I made was the Awesome Litvish Chassid Torah Bayis. Wow, was that a long time ago. I can't believe it has been so long that I have had webpages online!

So how did it all start? I was in the Jewishchicago website talking to my friend Marvin, the webmaster giving him some feedback on how he could add some Torah pages. He responded by offering me webspace to do it myself. The next thing I knew, I was creating my first pages.

Rochel and I have a great love for music. I remember back when I was a little boy singing the Zemiros, songs at the Shabbos table with family and friends. My dream was to be a Cantor. Well I haven't gotten there yet but in the mean time, Rochel and I have completed our first music CD, KAVANOS HALEV, Meditations of the Heart! Rochel is completely self taught in the piano and she composes her own new age style pieces. I also write my own music but with a Chassidish style of sound. Our CD combines our talents into one and is an asset to anyone's music library. We are currently working on an all new CD as we have upgraded to more advanced Studio equipment.

While Rochel is at home taking care of our son, I am busy writing my new Sefer, book, Kavanos Halev. Never did I know that writing a book was so much work, but after months of work, it is almost completed. I want so much to help people come close to Hashem and therefore this book is written with a lot of love for my fellow Jews. It can be read online for the time being till I find a publisher. Artscroll, Feldheim, Mozanim, Breslov, CIS, any interest?

Do you know how many Jewish neshamos, souls are looking for spirituality online? Thousands of people are seeking out the Torah and Mitzvos for the first time. They have a quest to understand their roots as Jews. Happy are they and how good will be their portion! With this in mind, I created the website, Queen Shabbos Online. A website all about Shabbos. Our day of rest is truly splendid and it is one of the first things to share with those lost from their roots in Judaism.

I have to admit, I really, really love kids. Therefore, I created the Jewish Children Torah Website. The kids love it and that means a lot to me. It is fun to help the kids but we adults need someone to be there for them as well. That is why I created the Jewish Help Website.

It is a big Mitzvah to be a part to help others learn Torah, therefore I thought it was necessary to create a Torah Forum called the Jewish Torah Discussion Boards. It has all kinds of categories for people to discuss Judaism and Torah.

Technology has become so advanced that a webmaster like myself can now place videos online. What a great way to teach Torah I decided so I created My Torah Video Lesson's online. I have had great feedback Boruch Hashem from people who have enjoyed my Torah lessons from Rebbe Nachman of Breslov.

Using this same technology of Real Media I placed the first Orthodox Jewish Wedding online. After pushing Rochel my wife, she agreed to have our wedding video online to be viewed by thousands. Boruch Hashem she has forgotten all about giving me permission and you can enjoy it with your real video player;) A few years ago, I placed online some pictures of myself when I was growing up. Just in case you are wondering, before I made web pages, I used to show my artistic photography in galleries.

About a year ago, we took the big plung and make aliyah to Israel, moving to the holy city of Tzfat, Safed, Tzfas, Tsfas, Tsfat, however you want to spell it. Recently, we have begun organizing a new Yeshiva here in Tzfat called, Yeshiva Torah Lishmah Shlomo. It hasn't opened yet but we hope to within the year should we have the funds.

As I said before, one webpage led to another and now there are too many to count. Therefore, I ask you to visit my main webpage below.

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